When I asked if she loved that first married guy, Sylvia said, "Love? Yeah sure, for the moment. But he made me realize that I can never trust a man. So I'd rather know that he has a wife at home, rather than worry if he's going to cheat. And as well, I can come and go as I please, and he has absolutely no right to get jealous or possessive, and the second he tries to pull that crap, I walk."
"As for the sex," she continues, "it's wonderful. These guys are usually deprived or bored with their women, and I'm that exciting, ego-boosting element that they're looking for. And because they've harbored so many fantasies about sex that either their women wouldn't comply with or they would never want to do with her out of respect or fear, I provide that 'fantasy' component that they want so badly. Why would I ever give that up? After I come, they go. No rings, no strings. I'm cool with that."
For some, however, sleeping with a married man isn't so great once he opts to leave his wife and start anew with the mistress. "When I first met Matthew, sparks flew, we just couldn't keep our hands off of each other," says Kim, 28, a real estate broker. "But we mistakenly thought we were in love and decided that we wanted to make our relationship permanent, so he left his wife. Little did either of us realize that the fantasy would fizzle the moment mundane elements of everyday life reared their ugly heads," she admits.
Suddenly, Matthew didn't seem as thrilling to be around, and he stopped treating her like the object of his every desire. "Sex with a married man has to remain that, just sex. Once we began a relationship, I became jealous -- after all, he cheated on his last woman. So I couldn't enjoy sleeping with him the way I used to. Needless to say, he ended up cheating on me with a woman at his office."
what's the deal?
So, women call men pigs and say that all men cheat, but it's not as though these men are sleeping with other men (that's a different article altogether). When any woman knowingly sleeps with a married man, even though I fully believe it's the married party's responsibility to remain faithful, it makes women just as swiny as their male counterparts. And don't even get me started on the amount of married women who spread themselves about.
Nevertheless, I can understand why the sex can be so great for and with attached men. But I believe that, for every man who would cheat on his woman with a vixen, there is a man out there who is content with the woman he's committed to. My advice? If you want to have an affair, meet your wife at a bar and act like strangers, then go to a seedy motel and get nasty while you ask for her name.
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