Tuesday

For Ladies – 8 Things Your Husband Doesn’t Want to See You Doing

09None of these will probably lead to divorce or anything…but they may cause a need for a temporary space barrier to be put in place.

1. Flatulence.
And don’t even try to act like you don’t do it (*side eye*). And yes, it counts even if you try to sneak a quiet one in under the covers. We all know that if those covers lift in even the slightest manner…it’s a wrap for everyone involved. And yes, this sanction was at the top of all of their lists…

2. Taking care of feminine business.
Okay ladies so if you’ve been with your husband long enough, he can probably tell you exactly when that time of the month will happen for you. But just because he knows, doesn’t mean he really wants to know. You know? Try to keep it under wraps as much as possible. And he definitely doesn’t need to be a first hand witness to it. Please don’t subject him to that.

3. Using the bathroom.
Along those lines: does he really have to be present while you are taking care of any business in the lavatory? Okay sometimes it might be inevitable. But the less he has to partake in the festivities, the happier he’ll be.

4. Wearing a hair net/bonnet/scarf.
Whatever you want to call it, chances are, he doesn’t like seeing you wear it (and my personal please: please don’t wear it out in public). Obviously, we’ve gotta keep it looking fly so getting rid of it is probably not an option. Maybe every once in a while you can change out the satin bonnet with a satin pillow case so you can just be free.

5. Letting yourself go.
I’m sure we can all relate to being really comfortable with our spouses; so much so that we tend to neglect the attention and care we put into our overall appearances that we had before we got married. So yes, a good husband is going to love you no matter how much weight you gain, or how much your wardrobe now resembles that of his grandma. But he’s secretly wanting you to get your sexy back.

6. Burping
There are just some things that are okay when a guy does them, and just unacceptable when a lady does them. And this is one of those things.

7. Shaving.
Obviously our beaus know that there are certain areas we need to shave. But it doesn’t necessarily make it okay to subject them to watching. Then again, if you’re doing it unclad they may not care one way or another so…carry on!

8. Yawning…during s*x.
I know, I know. Sometimes we are just so exhausted. But don’t let them see that. If you can’t fight it off, then turn it into a scream, a howl or just bite into a pillow.

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