Saturday

Don't Know What To Do

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I'm about to take a bold step, but I don't know if its the right one. I'm not sharing this just to seek anybody's opinion but to educate and teach guys out there on how to avoid such mistakes. Just as my mummy use to say, "anything you no wan chop, no taste am". 
Back in school, I had this sweet and pretty babe, we started as very good friends, we attended mass together, was always at my place to chat and play with me, she was so in love with me but I was just myself, no feelings at all. I never wanted to ask her out but it got to a point she was waiting for me to say those words.
It got to a point I was everything she wanted and loved, she blanked her EX totally because of me, the guy even called me one time and was spewing thrash, then I had nothing to do with her(we were not dating then). There was also a post-graduate guy that was asking her out then, she told me everything the guy was telling her and I was just playing the good boy(that I am). 
After much pressure, I finally told her my plans and immediately without any screening she said yes, all my friends knew about her and we were bubbling, meanwhile, I wasn't too in love but she was so crazy about me and all of that. I played along as a good guy, she was submissive, I was so jovial, encouraging her, helping and doing things a normal boyfriend would do for his girlfriend. She was always coming over to the house, I would cook for her, we watch movies together, I gave her all the attention a lady deserves. All these made her to 'fall in love', but still I was just myself.
During my final days, we had planned to spend the final week together because I was rounding up and she was entering 300 level, we planned to make that week 'interesting'. On getting to her house(a stone throw from my place), we ate together, cuddled ourselves and the romance started. After much romance and fore-play, I noticed that I was not with my wallet that moment, no condom, no place to buy condom around 10:30pm for those that know ilorin city too well. Immediately, I alerted her that I can't 'KPAKE' her without 'barrier', she got angry and was saying she wants it 'skin-to-skin', I still stood my grounds and promised I was going to make it up with her the next day. After much pleading and petting she succumb to my pleas, and I rounded up my romance. She wasn't too happy but I had to leave else I was going to fall prey no matter how hard I try not to'pe ne trate' her. I got home late that night, met her online and we chatted all through the night about 'love'. 
I went to her place the following day, she was ready and set all through, short skirt, no pant, skimpy top, and my brain was 'beeping' the minute I stepped into her house, I gave her an 'Intimate' hug and we kicked off asap. I brought out my wallet, immediately she saw my wallet, she started complaining that she won't allow my 'protected GBOLA'. I tried to convince her that there is no way I was going to enter her without protection(the normal custom). She wailed and wailed but I was still adamant and stood my ground, I was never going to trade off my 'future' for just a '5-minutes' enjoyment. She got angry and sent me out of her house(as a coded guy that don't want friends to know anything about my runs, I owe my girlfriends the duty of secrecy). I left her home sad, she got pissed off, I wondered all through the night why she ever wanted it raw and still could not figure it out.
The next day I didn't show up, I just called her to come pick up some stuff from chicken republic opposite Bishop's house near tanke junction. She came over picked her stuff, I escorted her and we departed to our various tents after much chat and the normal 'I love you' lyrics. Two days for me to leave ilorin, I went to her house to see her, the normal ritual started and when it was time, I heard again her voice, "baby, no condom, its flesh-to-flesh". That very minute, I told myself I wasn't going to allow my diick do the thinking, I became angry and told her I got a call from 'above' to get to Edo state(my base) the next day, I had to change my plans because I was supposed to have spent the next day at her place through out before I travel to my destination. She kept on insisting that I must 'blow' her 'RAW' and I told her its condom or nothing. 
The next day, I traveled out of town to Edo state against my plans and wish, but I had to and then I made a decision to call it a quit, because I noticed she was so 'hot', and I don't trust her to keep herself till when we meet again. I just wanted to cut the relationship short, the trust was no longer there, and I never knew it was going to be a 'big problem'. I started behaving anyhow to her, didn't call her all through and she became sad and sent me a text that its over. 
I moved on and she too moved on, I called her after some months and we started chatting again, I apologized for the way a screwed up and she said she has forgiven me.
She told me she has a new boyfriend and I wished her well, but anytime I tease her how much I love her, she gets angry and keep saying things I don't want to hear. Something happened last week, I just sent her a message, saying I love her so much, she responded by saying I should 'go and die'. 
I have tried every way to apologize to her, she keeps getting angry by the day, I made a mistake asking her out, I regretted asking her out because she makes me feel that I'm wicked. I send her money most times just to calm her down, but she keeps vexing at any little joke I make, I don't know what to do to please her anymore. 
I'm planning on cutting every communication with her, to save her the stress of remembering the past. 
NB: what you know too well that you won't eat, don't taste it. Girls are very fragile emotionally when they fall in love, don't toy with them.
Don't ever 'KPAKE' without your condom, your future is at stake. Don't trade off your future for just 5-minutes enjoyment.
Abstain from sex, but if you feel you cannot please use you 'condom'. 
For those who are 'engaged', be faithful

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